Television scripting.. a sample

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    Here is a sample from old episodes of I need to know



    EPISODE: 79



    DRAFT: 1

    Mr. UDOH


    Theme music

    Fx: Class in session

    Mr. Udoh: Now we know that energy travels at 310,000 kilometres per second, who here can tell me about the speed of thought?

    Mohamed: We can not determine the speed of thought.

    Mr. Udoh: You think so Mohamed? Aren’t you expending energy in your thought? Especially when you are thinking about the babes?

    General laughter

    Mr. Udoh: Who agrees with me that all the tensions you give yourself in the chase is energy? Yes Vince?

    Vince: Sir, you are taking the excitement out of it!

    Mr. Udoh: I am? How? Because I tell you the truth? The truth is so simple that it is not exciting for us human beings that we have to go and do really silly things before we accept it. So I said earlier energy travels at such speed but you have to direct it. The force is with you.

    Mohamed: Scientist work hard to find the truth sir. We know about that.

    Mr. Udoh: I am still waiting for you to submit your homework on the last laboratory experiment I asked you to perform. I suppose you are finding it hard to know the truth.

    Mohamed: I have already submitted and taken it to the staff room sir.

    Mr. Udoh: So class, what you expend so much sweat on, that is making some of you score less than 40% these days is simple nervous energy.


    Mr. Udoh: Life is simple my friends. Make the best possible use of it. Think of what I just told you. Energy travels at that speed in one second. Think about the time you cover when you observe the vital statistics of each other and use part of it to pay attention in class. The results of the science competition is out. (He pauses for a while) And some of you did very well. I don’t know which one of you will be going to Maryland, but I know those who won’t be going. The results will be formally announced in two weeks from now when the invitation from the school will have arrived. I am waiting for the assignments also. Mohamed see me in the staff room now.


    Fx: Buttery sounds

    May: (Sighs) Augusta! I have been looking for this book all day.

    Augusta: But what do you think happened to it May?

    May: I have my suspicion but I can’t prove it. Anyway where is Amina?

    Augusta: I haven’t seen her today. I saw Green yesterday.

    May: Hmm where?

    Augusta: In simi’s joint.

    May: (Very surprised) But what were you doing there yourself?

    Augusta: I was just passing.

    May: Hmm.

    Augusta: What do they do there?

    May: But I don’t live there. So what was Green doing there?

    Augusta: I saw him with one girl

    May: Naturally, which girl?

    Augusta: I don’t know her, but she appears to have a lot of coins to spread around. They were having a feast from the look of things.

    May: Hmm! Augusta, I thought you said you were just passing through. You seem to have seen a lot from just passing.


    May: Well?

    Augusta: Nothing

    May: That means plenty! What have you been doing Augusta?

    Augusta: I said nothing. Have you seen Taibat?

    May: No. Don’t change the subject Augusta.

    Augusta: I saw her at the park too.

    May: Did you see George Bush, president Obasanjo, Yasser Arafat and Sharon as well?


    Augusta: No. What I am trying to say is I had a very interesting Saturday. Tade was supposed to take me to the beach.

    May: Which beach?

    Augusta: Lekki of course. He says he wants to arrange one weekend programme there for the Woofers.

    May: He really is a good manager.

    Augusta: Naturally!

    Fx: Classroom sounds

    Fx: Sound of drawers being opened and shut with some force

    Vince: Green! What do you think you are doing going through our drawers? What do you think you are doing?

    Green: Got any dough on you Vince old friend?

    Vince: No! What were you doing searching lockers?

    Green: Misplaced my maths textbook.

    Vince: Really?


    Vince: (In a quiet voice) But your maths book is here on your table Green.

    Green: Imagine! Must be getting old.

    Vince: Really?

    Green: Didn’t think the silly book was there.

    Vince: You have coins in the book? Better check.

    Green: I do need some money.

    Vince: Yours?

    Green: Actually, a small loan. Think you can let me have some coins?

    Vince: I am not a bank. My allowance has to last me for a week.

    Green: Lucky you. Your old girl.. er sorry I mean your mum gives you an allowance. I am starving Vince. Come on be a friend. I need to visit the buttery.

    Vince: But I thought I saw you splashing at the buttery yesterday?

    Green: That was yesterday, I am talking about now.

    Vince: (Sighs) Wish I can help Green. I am out of cash. I don’t bring all my money to school so I won’t be tempted to spend it all.

    Green: (Sighs) Sure I understand. See you around.


    Mohamed: Vince? What is it? Why are you looking so wild?

    Vince: (Grimly) Mohamed! I am looking for my fare.

    Mohamed: What?

    Vince: My fare home is gone.

    Mohamed: How come? Didn’t you put it in your bag as usual?

    Vince: Yes I did. Geez! Green has stolen my money.

    Mohamed: Hey! Take it easy. He can’t.

    Vince: (Grimly) He has. I came in to find him searching the lockers he said he was looking for his book. When I lay my hands on him he is going to change his name from Green to black! Or Dead!


    Fx: Street sounds

    Ngozi: Hey Green! What is the matter? Is a ghost chasing you?

    Green: Yo Ngozi! I don’t dig ghosts. (then laughs nervously) Coming from the market as usual?

    Ngozi: What is it? You are nervous.

    Green: Nothing really. There has been some excitement on the street today. A man brought police to visit a friend of mine.

    Ngozi: (quietly) Dogo?

    Green: Yeah.

    Ngozi: Green, everybody has told you not to associate with that man he is bad news.

    Green: He is okay. He is my best friend.

    Ngozi: But what about your friends at school?

    Green: They are fine too. Say! Let me help you with your things to the house okay?

    Ngozi: Sure.

    Green: Got any coins?

    Ngozi: Here. Just little.

    Green: Thanks! I know you are cute. The best in fact.

    Ngozi: Why are you so nervous Green?

    Green: Me? I am cool.

    Ngozi: But you are not. You have been looking frightened for sometime. Did you think the police will arrest you too?

    Green: I really feel okay.

    Ngozi: (Softly) You can talk to me Green? Aren’t we friends anymore?

    Green: Yeah I guess we are friends. The thing is I really don’t know what to do. You see my friend is having a bit of problem. A guy reported one of the babes to the police and the police came to give the place a shave. I happen to be around and got out quickly enough. (Sighs) Can’t imagine what the old man will do if he heard I had been dropped in the cooler.(His voice goes melancholy) Probably won’t care at all.

    Ngozi: Hmm. Don’t you talk to your Dad at all Green?

    Green: (Grins) You haven’t seen my old man have you?

    Ngozi: No I have not, but since he is your dad I guess you should be able to talk to him.

    Green: (Laughs in a strange bitter voice) That guy is something! He does not know we exist except when he feels like yelling at us.(Then he drops his voice and speaking slowly through his teeth) He goes to work 24 hours a day seven days a week!

    Ngozi: (Is alarmed) Haba! Green! Even a machine needs time to rest.

    Green: Sure! He goes into his bedroom and ignores everybody until he feel he has to go out again or he runs out of cigarettes then he yells for me to come and buy him some no matter the time of night.


    Fx: Bring up street sounds


    Fx: Buttery sounds

    Ngozi: Bisi! You are eating oranges. What happened? The monkeys got to the bananas before you?

    Bisi: Ha! Clever Ngozi.

    Ngozi: So? Where is Hauwa?

    Bisi: Hauwa is not feeling too good. She has refused to come to the buttery.

    Ngozi: Yes I know I have been to see her. I think she is overworking herself.

    Bisi: Too much acada!

    Ngozi: What is that?

    Bisi: I think she is overdoing the ghosting.

    Ngozi: Ghost?

    Bisi: Ngozi! Don’t let this your new love experiment make you forget that you will start writing your final exams in a few short weeks! You are acting like NFA.

    Ngozi: What?

    Bisi: If you feel like a fight go ahead fight. I am getting really tired of your antics! How can you come to school for six years survive Galadima and then end up in the pocket of Vince? That is why I called you NFA, no future ambition. We are friends. We have been friends for forever before Hauwa and Essien. If I cannot tell you the truth nobody will tell you.

    Ngozi: Shut up Bisi. You like the sound of your own voice too much. One of these days I will do the thing Essien and I used to talk about?

    Bisi: What?

    Ngozi: Give you a sound beating and then lock you up in a room with Oluwole! I hear he likes you a lot.

    Bisi: But how can you think of such a horrible thing? (Sighs) Ngozi, Have you been missing Essien like me? I keep thinking of her these days wondering how she would have coped with this coming exam.

    Ngozi: Yes. I have also thought of her and wondered what she would make of our new guidance counselor or of anything. I miss her and I am also worried

    Bisi: (Musingly) You know we never went back after that day to say hello to her mum.

    Ngozi: I did not like her mum especially the way they did not talk to her in time. They were her parents now. Where did all the money take them now? Well, something like that is happening again.

    Bisi: Another girl is about to commit abortion? Hauwa is not pregnant, just tired. I told you, too much reading. She wants to make her papers first try….

    Ngozi: (Cuts in) I mean Green. That boy who hangs out with the woofers…

    Bisi: Ngozi! But how come all the juniors are chasing after you? I told you that if you agree for one they will all think you are available…

    Ngozi: (In disgust, yells at her friend) Shut up!

    There is silence.

    Ngozi: (breathing hard) You are a complete disgrace! Did you learn one thing? I mean just one thing from all that your mum ever said to you? Listen first, judge, then talk!

    Ngozi: (Sighs) Green lives in my neighborhood. I see him from time to time. Yesterday, I was coming from the market and he saw me he was very nervous. He helped me with my shopping things to the house. We talked and I got to know that he lives most of the time on the street with a security guard because there is never anybody in his house for him to talk to. He says his dad works 24 hours a day seven days a week. I am worried about him. As I was coming today, I saw him at the place again and he was drinking something. So I challenged him, he said it was paraga ,something to cure pile. Is that true?

    Bisi: (Mildly) I don’t take paraga Ngozi.

    Ngozi: So what is it?

    Bisi: But he told you. Something for pile.

    Ngozi: Do they sell something for pile on the street with a mallam?

    Bisi: I am not Green. I don’t have pile, and I don’t live on the street.

    Ngozi: Maybe you should have pile then.

    Bisi: Thanks!

    Ngozi: Be serious!

    Bisi: Listen first, judge, then talk! I didn’t even hear you Ngozi!


    Fx: Classroom sounds

    Fx: Sound of a chair being turned over and sudden sounds of exclamation and surprise.

    Vince: You owe me fifty bucks man! Green, that is what you took from my bag.

    Fx: Loud groaning sounds


    Vince: Hey Green! Are you okay?

    Green: I need a drink very badly Vince.

    Vince: What?

    Green: I feel funny. Like I have a million ants running up and down my body. If I take some small paraga I will feel better.

    Vince: What is that?

    Green: It is for pile.

    Vince: Do you have pile? Come on man, let me take you to my mum’s clinic.

    Green: No I will be fine. I will return your fifty bucks soon. I have a deal that will jell in a few days, so don’t worry. Just borrowed it for a while.

    Vince: But how do you borrow money without me knowing about it man! That is not borrowing that is stealing.

    Green: I am not a thief! I am your friend that is why I borrowed it. I have not denied taking the money. If I am a thief you won’t find me here will you?

    Vince: Well, next time tell me when you want to borrow from me okay?

    Green: Sure. You got any coins now?

    Vince: No!

    Green: Keep your shirt on. Will see you. Got to see somebody.


    Fx: School sounds

    Helen: Hey there Vince! I want to talk to you.


    Helen: What is wrong with you?

    Vince: There is nothing wrong with me Helen.

    Helen: How do I differentiate when my sickness is normal or HIV?

    Vince: Are you sick now?

    Helen: (Sighs) Vince, I am afraid of anything happening to me. I have been going to the toilet all morning in school.

    Vince: I don’t know. But you have had upset stomach before. I thought you said it is a combination of so many things at once.

    Helen: You don’t know or you don’t want to talk to me?

    Vince: (sighs) I don’t know truly.

    Helen: You like Ngozi a lot?

    Vince: I don’t know.

    Helen: What do you mean by that?

    Vince: I don’t know.

    Helen: Suddenly there seems to be quite a lot you don’t know or you don’t want to talk to me. You may not want to tell me anything but I suspect your friend Green is on drug.(Speaks slowly and with some emphasis)

    Vince: I ..Well that will be Green’s problem.

    Helen: Hmm I see, What exactly is your own problem now?

    Vince: I am just tired of being miserable and want to be happy. Just happy. You got a problem with that?

    Helen: I don’t have a problem Vince, I just..

    Vince: (groans) Stop it! Let’s us have fun okay? Come let me take you to the buttery. I am really angry with Green. Come.


    Fx: Buttery sounds

    Fx: Sound of happy students amidst the noise of ordering for one thing or the other.

    Green: Hey Senior Ngozi! Saw you really sweating it out at the lab just now.

    Ngozi: Green! How are you?

    Green: Alive.

    Ngozi: (laughs) I can see that. But how are you really?

    Green: (shrugs) Same yesterday, today, and tomorrow I think. Seen Vince?

    Ngozi: I don’t live looking for Vince you know.

    Green: Thought that your salt and pepper was giving him the third degree just now. Tell her to lay off okay? Vince is okay. She should just lay off. I might forget one day she is my senior and all that bla bla.

    Ngozi: You speak a different language. Has Vince offended Bisi?

    Green: Who cares?(Mutters under his breadth) Talk of the devil! Here she comes.

    Bisi: Ngozi! I have been looking for you! Who is that with you?

    Green: (Annoyed) Will you like a microscope so you can see me properly?

    Bisi: So he talks? Have you treated your pile Green?

    Green: My what? OH! Excuse me.

    Bisi: What is the matter with him?

    Ngozi: Bisi, He says one of these days he might just forget you are his senior.

    Bisi: Meaning?

    Ngozi: Why don’t you ask him. Oh, he said to tell you to lay off Vince. I am sure you know what that means Bisi. I might just oblige him first by dealing with your mouth diarrhea.

    Bisi: I actually wanted to help him.

    Ngozi: (Bored) And you played like everybody around you is an idiot except you Bisi. We may not all have parents like you but even you can’t know everything!

    Bisi: (Quietly) No Ngozi. I don’t know everything. I am sorry if you think I have been acting like that. Actually I like Vince.


    Ngozi: I didn’t hear you properly just now.

    Bisi: I didn’t mean like you think. I just got tired of all this constant fights. Even Hauwa thought I was interfering. So I decided to be friendly with him only he was not willing to talk to me. I told him I did not like him.

    Ngozi: Bisi! You really are impossible! What did you expect him to do? Hug you?

    Bisi: Well, he might be confused if I said I wanted to be friends.

    Ngozi: Hmm

    Bisi: My dad says drug and substance abuse is the use of drugs for non-medical reasons. I think this paraga sounds like some kind of bad drug abuse. Maybe Green should see a doctor.

    Ngozi: Hmm. Where?

    Bisi: I don’t know.

    Ngozi: I wish somebody will talk to his dad about what is going on? He is always on the street. I see him on the street all the time.

    Bisi: I see.

    Ngozi: Well I don’t see.

    Bisi: Maybe you should talk some more with Vince.

    Ngozi: Hmm.

    Bisi: Well?

    Ngozi: I will think about it.

    Bisi: Mr. Udoh says all science students should wait after class today.

    Ngozi: I see. Well, have you finished with my literature text book?

    Bisi: Yes. Haven’t I given it to you yet?

    Ngozi: No.

    Bisi: I must have left it at home. I will bring it to school tomorrow, By the way how is Chinwe? I thought I saw her on television last night.

    Ngozi: Really? I didn’t know. Which channel?

    Bisi: Channel 10. She was talking about a new card or something of her bank. She looked really beautiful.

    Ngozi: Naturally!

    Bisi: Let’s go to the lab I want to show you something.


    Take end credits.

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