Posted on

Please what should I say to her? Rape 2

She looked at me puzzled. I stared back in shocked surprise. Elegantly dressed, a lawyer and very incisive in her comments.
‘When you look at me, you assume I have got the best of both worlds right?’
I nodded wondering what was coming and unprepared for her next sentence
‘I wish I have the nerve to kill myself, that is after I have killed him’
I asked her softly why she wanted to kill anybody in the first place including herself
Then she talked.
At nine years old, she was not sure she was going to get an education at all. Her mother was one of three wives and her father had declared that the wives were to look after the girls they had given birth to.
‘He called us apprentice witches who had taken after our mothers’
The women did the best they could either appealing to their own siblings, eking out something from their petty trade. According to Yemi, there wasn’t much to expect from her mum so her uncle was called to help.

‘ the First day on the farm, he asked me to come to the pepper patch I understood what he did then as some form of sexual assault. He had not progressed to actual rape. He said he liked me and if I kept my head, he would ensure I had a fair deal in his house. I was too awed by his big frame and his armpits smelled awful. I slept badly that night.
Next morning, he took me off to the local authority school and registered me in kindergarten one. I was almost 10 years old. The teachers taught I was a joke. Most of my classmates in a kindergarten class could speak better than me. I was the class giraffe, the fool, the errand idiot. They laughed but I was silent. I was finally in school. My mum was over the moon and she thanked her brother over and over again.
‘Two weeks of school, Uncle got drunk and I got my first rape’. Yemi went on talking in a matter of fact voice as if she was giving the facts and potentials of the case she was about to defend in court.
My heart sank as I listened, what was I going to do? Nothing much I realized as I listened to a woman who had learned to keep her own counsel and had in some fashion maybe come to some peace.
As she got older, she was able to run away and come to the city. Yemi read privately as an external student to do her WAEC. She got a job as a cleaner in one of the banks and gradually went for more courses and was able to pay her way to read the law.

She never told her mum about the pepper patch rapes. She said she did not see what good that would serve. It was payment for the opportunity to be able to read and write.
Her mother passed away when she was in 300 level in the university. When she met Bayo, she went through the motions of an excited bride and was relieved when she got pregnant. But still had nightmares of the rapes
She had a perfect excuse to keep the physical side of their relationship to the barest minimum. She had also learned to control her rages
‘I did not like all that romance stuff he was into, did not like undressing, did not want any male looking at my body so I was happy being a born-again wife. However I had developed a crazy mannerism, I would bathe at every opportunity and would perfume my body all over. If Bayo touched me I would go stiff as a board and freak out. At first, Bayo found it amusing and thought I was just shy’
‘You never told him about your uncle’?
‘Are you mad? First, he will not believe me, then that look will come into his eyes and he will watch you every minute, or he will start asking you every tiny detail wondering or teasing that you probably enjoyed even a tiny bit of the rape’.

So what do you want to do? I asked when the silence was beginning to stretch
‘Bayo wants to visit my uncle to thank him for the education, If I lay eyes on that uncle, I will have to kill him and then kill myself to stop the torture of years and misery. Will you get someone to stand for my child?’
Please, what should I say to her?

Posted on

Let us be sincere

Let us be sincere with the children too.
A lot of us tend to boast as parents that we were picture perfect children tour own parents. We tell our own children how butter never melted in our mouths and how we were model children.
A parent sent me this and I read through carefully looking for the logs in my own eyes first. I thought I should share with you. Parenting apparently has been an issue since from the time of Adam and Eve.
Tirukkural by Tiruvalluvar (a Tamil poet/writer) was written more than 5,000 yrs ago. It’s one of the ancient science on Human Behaviour, which has not changed in spite of modern education & technology!*

*SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL:*

1. *If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.*

2. *If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.*

3. *If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.*

4. *If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.*

5. *If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.*

6. *If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.*

7. *If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order & command them.*

8. *If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour & you give little attention to good behaviour.*

9. *If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something & not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it*

10. *If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.*

11. *If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.*

12. *If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.*

13. *If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others & think its normal behaviour.*

14. *If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions*

15. *If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right*

*Pls fwd this to Parents who care to read this!*
*IT MAY GUIDE OUR MODERN PARENTING!*
*Positive Parenting!*

Posted on

What should I tell mum

I came home after seven years, I still looked fresh almost untouched. I really didn’t know what to expect, even why I came home. I was tired, emotionally tired, spiritually empty. It was time to go home.
I really had not factored into my spirit what my mum was going to say. Seven years is a long time to have stayed angry and rebellious. Seven years was the time it took me to look in the mirror. Really look in the mirror to look for me. To look for my definition of me, what it means to be me. I am not making any excuses my friend. I just got tired of it all, suicide even lost its attraction. Tried it for the first time after the physics teacher ran his hands all over me in class just before lights out. It was the same night the principal had called me into his office and asked me to sit on his lap and something hard kept sticking into me and I struggled to move away.
Yes those silent struggles, in his office his long beard and his pants, it was the reason I asked my mum to sew khaki shorts for me and I zipped them up my belly, to stop those wandering hands. I would scrub my body every night trying to take his smell on my body off. I was scared, I did not know who to ask the questions. Then I looked in the mirror then, saw my staring eyes and despaired .
Subuola would in rage insist I was after her boyfriend, first time I understood the import of what she meant, we had a big fight. It was Kola who in sheer mirth explained that I could make men commit sins. I asked him to explain, but he simply laughed and shook his head. He said my dimples and those bewildered eyes were a dangerous combination.

But that explanation came years later after two suicide attempts. But back in those days, I only felt shame, dirty and sad. Why would the principal do this things, and the physics teacher. I never had good grades in that subject, I could not explain why my brain will close up just seeing the subject written on the board. I was in constant state of terror just seeing him. He would pinch my breasts ( it was just coming up) very painfully. Hold me very tightly and rub himself hard against me. I would whimper and struggle, gradually my shame changed to anger and developed into a rage.

Seven years ago I timidly asked my mum why men were like that, and she lost it. I had never been so severely beaten. My backsides ached, mum checked my innermost places almost with a torchlight and there was no name left to call me after six hours of verbal abuse. I felt like nothing. The mat was so hard, and when it started raining, I embraced its cold sharp stings. It was better than all the abuse. I didn’t know when I started walking that night. I did not remember if I met any masquerade, I just walked, and walked.
The morning found me in the city, and the call of the conductor brought me sharply awake. Ikoyi still had a park in those days, so I guess in some fashion. I got there. Slept in the grass for a long time. Then this family approached me and asked if there was anything wrong. I remember saying very simply that I was missing and needed a job. Those were strange days. No telephones then, so I stayed with them for a while being a nanny to their child. Took my ‘A’ levels as a private student, rekindled my dream to be a human being.

I discovered later I had been damaged by the silent abuses, my mum’s lack of understanding made me a very bitter person. I closed my heart , kept the keys but refused to communicate.

I started teaching and loved the children particularly one sad eyed angel called Tina. She always sat quietly in a corner. Rarely went to breaks with the other children, never got her clothes dirty until one day another tiny one mistakenly splashed her with the drink she was having. I saw the terror that came into her eyes and how she trembled uncontrollably. Suddenly I knew what was wrong with her. I picked her up and rocked her as my own tears finally burst and we both cried helplessly.

Hours later, when the storm was over, and the wretched house girl who had been abusing Tina was arrested. I went to my clean, over clean spruced flat and looked in the mirror again
Now I am on my way home to talk to Mum.

Posted on

What is that darling?

girl-882336_1280

How modern are we as parents? Really and truly?
Tinu is the executive officer of an NGO “Belfort Place”. She has a daughter called Banke. I am deliberately dispensing with surnames. That way they are private while we talk about them.

Banke is home on an exeat of a day. The mother takes Banke shopping and as they move towards the check out, something drops from Banke’s bag. Tinu had the presence of mind not to react instantly as Bank quickly drops it back in her bag. But for the rest of the shopping, Tinu is distracted. Later during refreshment, conversation ensues
Tinu: Who is he?
Banke: (Very mystified) He?
Tinu: Saw the condom in your bag
Tinu leans back and laughs, but Tinu is about to have a heart attack, never mind that her NGO counsels people on rape and victims.

“Honestly I didn’t know what to make of it, had she become sexually active already? She is only sixteen?”
Tinu had given her mother a look, shrugged and explained that another NGO had come to their school and distributed free condoms to all of them.
Tinuhad a lot to think about, it was an NGO, and the students had been given a talk about sexual activities. Tinu said, she felt suddenly vulnerable about her daughter and was not so sure she welcomed the idea of condom distribution in her daughter’s school. Seriously now, how many of us as parents who claim to be modern really love the idea of that talk? When we shared the event with Tunrayo, she was scandalized and went on and on about NGOs being part of the problem. She was of the view that children should not be told anything until they were well into their first year in University.
“Don’t be a goose Tunrayo said sharply, Olayinka got raped while she was in 300 level and she had been told nothing. If her mother had taken time to talk about sexuality at all, the poor girl would not have gone off to a strange city with her half- brother.

The argument moved from should NGOs be allowed to give sexuality orientation in secondary schools? Notice that my emphasis has been on sexuality and not on sex education. Is there a difference? Sure there is a difference? However the experience today is : what would be your reaction if your girl child has a packet of condom in her bag.
Banke said, she used the condom to let her seniors know of her preferred orientation
That started Tinu off as she asked what was going on in the boarding house for girls?
Banke rolled her eyes and turned to me: “Big Mummy, have you ever heard of feathering”
My throat went dry as I asked what she meant, and she said

When a senior girl is interested in a girl in the school, they ask her to be a friend with benefits. They educate her in what they mean about the benefits. If she refuses to give them the password to her server, they feather her. That means they come round to her bed at night and initiate her. Can you persuade my mum that I do not wish to give anybody right now a password to my server?
Can somebody please educate me further?

Posted on

Privacy lessons for your child

couple-1030744_1920
I have the pleasure today, to include the post of parent to our growing list of guest bloggers. Mr. Adegoke Opeyemi has shared a list with parents.
Please read and I hope you will share.

HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS YOU NEED TO TEACH YOUR CHILD(REN) AT EARLY AGE :
1. Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the situation including uncles.
2. Avoid Getting dressed/undress in front of your child, once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.
3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’, reprove it immediately.
4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.
5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.
6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child.
7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values regarding SEX. If you don’t, the society will teach them the wrong values.
8. It is always advisable you go through any new material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.
10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you (remember, charity begins from home and with you).
11. Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).
12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the crowd.
13. Once your child complains about a particular person, don’t keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend them. Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be. and remember “THE PAIN LASTS A LIFETIME” And please share to all friends who have children.

Why don\y you go over this again, share with your friends and invite them to subscribe.

Posted on

The New generation or what?

A Concerned parent shares
The following is a contribution I felt we should all share in. Parenting does not have exclusivity and some of us may have answers and suggestions. Our blog is meant to raise questions within us, create dialogue and we learn together. A Yoruba adage says we can’t all sleep with our heads pointing to the same direction. In sharing, we learn and grow
Why don’t you come over to our blog, read, share and grow too. You could also like us on Facebook and post on our page .
Dear Parents,
There are things that parents do that makes me wonder if they know the implications. In my teaching career, I’ve come to realize that children who are well brought up produce better results.
What I see these days is training the “butty”(aje butter) way which gets me scared of what will happen in the next 10-15years.
I see eight year olds who don’t bother to lay their beds.
I see 10year olds served by the maid or “caring mum” on the table and they either don’t pack the table or they just dump the plates in the kitchen for the maid or “caring mum”.
Drivers carry the bags of children above 5years and the children call them “my driver”.
Manual cloth washing is gradually been replaced by washing machines yet the maid or “caring mum” will be the one to do the laundry.
Children wake up and go straight to the TV and sleep late watching TV with mum & dad but mum & dad don’t allow them read late. They’ll say “go and sleep”.
I see parents play game for hours on their phones yet wonder why their children don’t read and why their results are poor despite investment in expensive schools.
I see tweenagers and teenagers who can’t cook common white rice because there’s maid, nanny, cook, “caring mum” etc.
I see children who are addicted to cheating in exams, assignments, class work and the parents aren’t taking conscious steps to correct it instead some will bribe teachers to make their children first or teach them during external exams.
I see children who talk to their parents and other adults disrespectfully and all parents say is “children of now a days are outspoken”.
Your children’s wardrobe is full of clothes but they don’t have a single book.
You buy them lots of toys but you didn’t buy them books.
I can go on and on.
See, when next you tell your child not to do house chores, study hard etc have it at the back of your mind that what you’re saying is “don’t take responsibility for your life”.
I guess parents don’t know that chores and morals are almost directly proportional to academic performance.
Haven’t you thought of it that when our forefathers went to farm, fetched water etc before or after school, the world was a better place?
Haven’t you thought of it that our local proverbs which have remained relevant were coined by illiterate men and women?
A yoruba proverb says, “eni a nwo ki wooran”….”those who make news don’t watch news”.
So when you’re mentoring your children to be T.V. addicts you should understand what you’re grooming them to be.
There are TWO PAINS in life and everyone must suffer one; PAIN OF DISCIPLINE or PAIN OF REGRET.
When you’re preventing your children from going through pain of discipline, just understand that you’re automatically preparing them for pain of regret.
Some parents feel that their children’s careers are secured because of their financial stand.
Now, let’s do this analysis;
1. You get your children a job
2. You make them take over your company
3. You set up a business for them
1. If you get them a job and they have the wrong attitude at work like been late, talking rudely to clients etc which made the company lose a big contract,will they keep them there?
2. They take over your company and your company lost within three months an amount that you didn’t make in your first five years in business due to their lack of discipline, will you pat them on the head and say I’m proud of you child?
3. They run the business shabbily and there’s nothing to show for it within few years.
The earlier we stop these pampering the better. You will give an account to God about them.
Train your child in the way he should go and when he is old, he won’t depart from it.
Regards,
A concerned Parent.
so what do you think?

Posted on

Are you the talk or just a talk?

child-285030_1920
Be the Talk
“Our environments are so replete with institutions that extol such values that could pervert the growing adolescent. Among them::
– becoming University graduates as teenagers
-along with this, exam malpractices funded by parents.
– immorality by sugar Daddy/sugar Mommy on Campuses
– sermons in places of worship that preach only breakthroughs without much knowledge of the scriptures
– uncensored home video movies
– lack of “hands on” education that places undue importance on paper qualifications.
– unending rat race among parents leaving no time for responsible parenting, that parental responsibilities to ill prepared boarding houses
– above all, between material and spiritual education that produce brain cripples that rule the world.
All these leave bitter tastes”

Dear parent, I thought I should start off with the comment of a parent over our last topic, Remember I asked how much your child was really worth?
Will you encourage your child to cheat? What is the value you have given your child?
We live in the information change and some of us have defined it as the age of knowledge.
It does not matter if our child becomes a professor at age 21, what else have we impacted in the child?
A sense of the right values of the child being able to see his place in the world as a viable human being able to navigate through the pressures of wanting to be like his peers, setting goals for himself and taking responsibility for his actions.

I came across a conversation by some young ladies and at issue was the sexuality of girls in comparison with that of the boys. In our culture across the country, the girl child is expected to play the role of the restrained miss. She is expected to finish school, and get married in that order. Most girls are beginning to resist that role allocation, and wish to live on their own terms but there is always the sneaking feeling of being left on the shelf.

We say the biological clock of the female ticks regardless of whatever she does and so girls feel the pressure and want to rush into marriage even when they are not emotionally prepared.
What do we mean really? What is our responsibility to preparing our children for marriage, and what optics of our own marriage will they see to decide if we can be that talk?
I seemto be full of questions today. Let us really talk and be the talk of what we tell our children from when they take that first breath in our arms and we look into their eyes and love flows from us to the infant and gratitude from our hearts to the Creator for the opportunity to be the talk.
Chat soon

Posted on

When Parents Dream…..

For me it was not going to happen, I knew it from the moment she started telling me how she loved their white clothes. My heart sank each time she started the subject. I had a rebellious streak. Father passed away in my last year in secondary school, being a nurse would have been the next best thing. However I was not buying into that. We stared at each other. I was close to tears but stubbornly refused to back down. I told her very firmly that I had not the slightest intention of going to a nursing school. In the first place I was not going to have any relative pay for my nursing fees or any fees for that matter. I wanted to be a surgeon and since my father had passed away I was reviewing my choices. There was pain in mother’s eyes as she had to painfully let go of her dream of seeing her daughter wear the nurse’s uniform.
Years later it set me thinking, do parents live their dream through their children. I met quite a lot of parents who tried to push their children to one profession or the other. Tope was one of them. He got admission to read medicine at one of the best universities in the country. His father swelled with pride each time he told us and we all assumed that Tope would one day don the short coat of a doctor, I even envied him as I had wanted to be a surgeon remember? Then Tope came to look for me and I saw his discomfort. After a lot of nervous coughing he blurted out that he would be graduating as an accountant and had secured the firm that he would do his articleship. The shock was that his father had assumed that Tope would be going for his clinicals and housemanship.
Tope stared at me, he asked me to break the news to his father. I gulped asking him why he had kept quiet about his change of course. He shrugged and said, there was no way that he could tell his father about such a change. He explained that in the second year, he had quietly changed to accountancy , kept his grades clean and maintained a decent CGPA he had not had any problems, he did not fancy cutting people up and would have made a terrible doctor he explained.
We sat in silence as I had picture of breaking the news to his father. I did not look forward to that assignment, and I remembered my mother and I sighed. When parents dream…Could I one day be guilty of this? In Nigeria of those days, children of the sciences were valued and I remembered that my principal had insisted that I was going to be a science student even the fact that I consistently failed physics and was indifferent to Mathematics. He had a faith in me that was agonizing for me? I was happy debating, acting, reciting poetry but was stuck in the science class.
I became a firm advocate of career counseling thereafter because the opportunity became clearer to allow the child to choose irrespective of the dreams of our parents.
I became a parent and I understood why parents dream. I caught myself telling my children that they should opt for professional courses. Something that they can be masters of when they leave school and have to fend for themselves in a world that had rapidly changed from what I knew of it.
As a parent, I had dreams of them becoming self -reliant, the government jobs were gone, factories and industries needed a different kind of worker. You no longer needed to have understanding of the general Rules of the civil service code anymore. Nobody wanted to be in service to a nameless person but children wanted to hold their survival firmly in their own hands.
There was now the age of technology and the world had shrunk to a village.The language was now different, abbreviated to a level that you needed a dictionary ….a new dictionary to understand new words. Can Parents still dream?
We need to look for new dreams and search through our hopes and prayers what should be the pattern of our new dreams.
Sometimes we look at our children, they are now children of a new age , a new vision, it is fast paced and the parents have become the children as they look on confused, grasping at their dreams. Time to take a look and see what you can safely dream about
The world still need love, decency, uprightness, justice and we may still dream of honesty in the blind rush for money.
I take a look round and still tell my children, there is still opportunity, to be decent, have a sense of justice and fairness, be upright, share love to another human being and be a creature of the Creator. Now maybe the colour of the dreams may change but these values like threads run through life.
Be a man in the cascading confusion of a new age
Now when parents dream…… they see hope of a new dawn for man

Posted on

Does your child respect you

Honour thy father and Mother
“When you hear the words “Thou shalt honor thy Father and Mother” how do you read it as a parent?” I asked my friends this question early in the week and asked permission to use the replies of two of my friends to use as lead in for this topic.

Layi Ademokoya: Notwithstanding that God did not give condition for obedience of this command, a parent should live an honourable life that will encourage their children to obey the command. A man in an incestuous relationship with his daughter does not deserve that honour even if it is given on compliance with God’s command. Afterall, the holy scriptures in Ephesians 6:4 enjoins fathers ” And you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord”.
Adebimpe Akindele: No, all elderly people ni o. Gbogbo awon to ba ju ni lo.(Translation, it applies to all elderly people anyone that is deemed as older) Even a times those who are anointed by God even though you may be older than them. There is need to always respect those younger to oneself because no one knows tomorrow, another reason is, respect begat respect. And the respect your parents law has a rider”that your day may be long”. It’s very important, because automatically it becomes a curse when one disrespect an elder and without the elder laying any curse.

So what do you think? Is that commandment actually meant for the children or the parents? Let’s look at a couple of situations.
A father who comes in drunk every night cannot be said to have done anything to honour the concept of fatherhood can he? How will a child honour a father who goes into rages every once in a while and has bad language to boot and belts everyone he can lay his hands on? Could we really ask the child to honour father in that regard?
My friend Adebimpe seems to sense that it meant really that we should honour the elderly. Would the elderly have honoured the age that they are as to make the children honour them?
Let me ask our mothers, how will a child honour mother if she is a slave to any type of fashion whether it suits her person or not? You know the kind of mother who seems to be perpetually competing with her daughter and is always wanting to wear the same clothes as her teenage daughter. The kind of mother who is willing to allow other men paw her skin while her daughter is around and notes it. What is there to honour in such a mother?, I ask.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent and we all know it but we do get guides from higher sources if only we listen.
That commandment is directed more at parents than the child. When we as parents in our activities create an environment of the high qualities we are endowed with we are likely to make children honour father and mother.The conditionality attached becomes possible because in seeing our parents as potential role models we learn how our days may be long
You might think I am preaching but if you give a few thoughts to the idea I am sharing with you, we might see how we are flouting that commandment. There are societies in the world that have evolved a healthy respect for their elderly citizens.

I have come across parents who have encouraged the demoralization of their children because they gave the excuse of being very poor. Poverty does not preclude us from decency. When a mother looks the other way as her daughter brings home all types of men and accepts gifts, from those men twice her daughter’s age. She has precluded herself from all honour and it will be hard to ask the child to honour motherhood .
What we really are looking at is our responsibilities as parents. Fatherhood brought to a level that inspires respect from the child and helps the child to see you as a role model and mentor guiding the child into maturity.
The same applies for motherhood, a womanly chaste nurturing, that ennobles all those who come into her orbit. The woman we have learned determines the spiritual outcome of a nation through her very nature. Let’s look at it this way and think about it.

The world is full of swindlers, thieves, reprobates, bad politicians or any manner of negative people, but they are children to some parents. Do you get my drift?
Where will you place your child? When next you hear the words or the command, “thou shalt honour Father and Mother” please think about it and ask how much of it have you given as a father or mother.
The Creator by whatever name we recognize Him, knows we came imperfect, and must thus make our weal or wealth as human beings. However, when we take on the responsibility to invite another human being into our circle of experiencing, we have the job to make it right. Every child that has come is the right child for us and we learn and grow by the passion and care we put into making ourselves the right parents
We can change the world only if we imbue our children with the right mores and ethics. If we make them look at the world through our lenses and if those lenses portray a decent world to the child.
It is easy to be despondent and cynical and ask ourselves that what is the point?
The point is we all are responsible for the mess the world is in right now because we are the parents.
Next time remember, “Thou shalt honour Father and Mother”. It is an order we should obey.
Chat soon