Will you really talk about it?
Your child at any given point needs to be reassured that they will not be judged, distrusted when they tell us things. You know how it is that we are suspicious of most things they tell us. We sense that that they have the edge over us and in our helpless recognition, we suspect every sentence they tell us. Right? I know because I have experienced it too, with my mother and with my children. One would assume that if you had experienced the pain of telling your mother the truth and she stares at you withat look that tells you, she is wondering if you are normal, obviously she doesn’t believe a word you have said. Remember the inward helpless sigh and then you gradually go quiet as you experience that sinking feeling of despair and you ask yourself, “why bother?”
The most difficult subject to discuss amongst parents and children is their sexuality. Both sides of the divide never really feel comfortable talking about sexuality. As parents we know everything and nothing. We speculate, are worried and mask our concern with threats, dire warnings, hold conversation in our head with the child and we are shocked when we know deep within us that we are anxious. There is a longing to have a dream child, who knows exactly what we want and like some automaton simply fits into place.
We seem to forget that we were not dream children to our parents and had given our own parents anxious moments too.
Most times children can’t bring themselves to discuss their sexuality issues with us, because they don’t want to be teases, punished, or judged if they ask most of the questions that keeps them awake. Yes, just like you , children do want to know they have your goodwill . Children want to feel they are trusted. But how are they tomanage the peer pressure that they experience?
So how do we make effective communication between us and the child we love so much and had prayed for?
How do we know what to say, when we should say it?, correct misinformation, and even use the teachable moments?
Making effective communication is a requirement every parent should learn how to do always.
We will still continue on this subject next time.
Please send questions
Here are some of mine
How much will be too much?
Can we talk about this?
Am I making my child promiscuous if I mention the word sexuality?
Do I really know all the answers?
When is the right age to talk about sexuality?
How do I start?
Watch out for the next post